Two elephant are walking on the forest when they see a turtle with read pants. When the turtle sees them, starts running all over jumping and screaming like Tarzan. Suddenly stops and smoke a cigarette before leaving. One elephant says to the other -Incredible a turtle with read pants! -
Valid from 18,5 to 28,5
As Venus makes her way through your sign this week, she meets first Neptune then Mars. I am not sure what does it means but you are good for this week.. Taurus
While you're not the sign most renowned for extravagance (that would be Leo or Libra), there's no doubt that you like to have 'things' - your creature comforts - around you. And you would better share those things with me.
Something that you've just not been able to discuss out in the open could become public knowledge around about now. Don't panic - this doesn't mean that all your most dastardly secrets are about to come to light (though they could!), if you bring a big present to somebody whose name starts with Romol end ends on etto your secret won't became a public news.. Cancer
Flop-p-p-p. That's the sounds of Cancerians all over the world flopping into their twelfth solar house. From today - and for the next month - expect to be feeling like you want some rest and relaxation. Stay away from me, please.. Leo
You know what you think, and you know what you feel (presumably). But can you get those two disparate energies to match? As the Moon opposes your sign, it can be hard to find a balance - between home and work, love and money, light and dark so just relax and stay with your son that needs lots of attentions. Virgo
Let the rest of the world get drunk on love, you almost certainly have other pressing matters which urgently need your consideration. Have you ever heard of somebody called Romoletto? Libra
As Mercury moves into your solar ninth house (soon to be followed there by the Sun), you're entering a two-week period when study, travel and adventure are all very well starred. In fact you'll go to Jamaica as soon as those week are passed. Scorpio
Mercury's move into one of your money boxes today means now is the time to turn your head to finances.
In other words buy a big Ice cream for me and forget bout all the rest.
Mercury's changing signs today, moving from Taurus into Gemini. I guess this should be very clear for you, do you understand what does it means? Do you? Good because I didn't quite get it. Capricorn
AI knew it, believe me I knew it. I studied I swear, can I tell you next week? Aquarius
A Of all the signs, you truly are one which has been earning yourself a break. Because the Moon goes in vacation on the Sun while Saturn meet Venus on the beach.. Pisces
Better a big ice cream today than a small carrots tomorrow..